11.30.2010

With This Job, We Say Good-Bye ...

... like we did EXACTLY ten years and two days ago, when I drove to the Los Angeles International Airport in the early morning hours to send Matt off to Washington, D.C. for the beginning of his seven long months of training.

... and like we did again today, when I drove to the Los Angeles International Airport, where I pulled over to the curb outside of Terminal 7, watched him pull his black backpack and duffel bag out of the car, and gave him a long hug and kiss good-bye.

Ten years ago I escorted Matt into the terminal and waited in the United Airlines Red Carpet Club until he boarded his flight. Back then our good-bye was far different. We were newlyweds with no kids, no dog, few responsibilities... but with the knowledge we'd see each other soon because my job was relocating me to New Jersey four short weeks after he left.

Today I had trouble containing the lump in my throat, and like four months ago started crying before he even let me go. I know I won't see him again until February. However, unlike our last big good-bye, neither of us realized just how difficult it would be this second time around.

Now we know.

Now we know how busy the kids schedules keep us. Now we know how crappy the rental house is. Now we know how lonely it is ... to sleep alone... wake up alone ... to spend the weekends alone.

Yes, we're both strong. We're troopers. We'll do just fine. But we're also secure enough to admit the reality. Sometimes it's hard. Some days are very, very hard.


One foot in front of the other. One day at a time...

22 comments:

Robin said...

(((hug)))

I can't tell you how much I wish I were close enough to invite you and the kids over right now (okay, not exactly now, M's home sick with a fever, but next week or something) - they could run around to their hearts content while we cracked open a bottle of something good and just schmoozed for hours.

Nomads By Nature said...

It is WAY hard. Love on the kids and take a deep breath. And think about how awesome that R&R will be. Those days will be back again before you know. Big hugs from Maputo.

Scary Mommy said...

Hugs, to you, Jill. You are my hero. XOXO

Connie said...

One day at a time... that's the way to go. (((((hugs!!!))))

Christy said...

Oh man, it just plain sucks. I wish I could speed up time for you guys! HUGE HUGS! Call anytime - I'm totally a shoulder to cry on! xoxo

Mom24 said...

{{{hugs}}}

Bfiles said...

so sorry. Hope this time apart will fly by, too. Have been thinking of your family. Have a happy and bright Hanukkah.

Jen said...

I'm so sorry. Having an off day here, as I feel so guilty that Peter is still home. Thinking of you!

Kelly said...

bless your heart. you're a wonderful and amazing woman!

Kelly said...

bless your heart. you're a wonderful and amazing woman!

Sadie said...

goodbyes are never easy, and this kind of goodbye is harder than most. sending lots of hugs your way.

amyjr said...

Hugs to you and Happy Hanukkah:-) It totally sucks to have a husband who is only there to help shoulder the resposiblities of home/children/and couple. My heart goes out to you and Febuary will be here soon.

Just US said...

Hang in there - one step at a time! For me, each good-bye after an R&R got easier because I knew there were less of them in our future. Keep smiling :) and sending you lots of hugs!

Emily said...

Oh Jill, I am so sorry.
A lot of hugs for you.

Kat said...

Oh I have such a lump in my throat right now. I can't imagine how hard it is. I don't know how you do. One day at a time, like you said, I guess.
HUGS

Heidi said...

I can't even imagine how hard this must be. Wishing you the very best...

Lisa said...

I can't imagine Jill....and think you are the strongest woman I know. Hugs to you ~ here's hoping February comes soon! (and Happy Hanukkah!)

Anna See said...

Love you!

I'll Take Mine... said...

Thinking of you.

Becky said...

Sending you hugs and thinking of you. Sending Daddy back to post is pretty high on my "things I hate to do" list.I know it doesn't make it better but wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Issas Crazy World said...

Tons of hugs darling.

It's okay to admit that it's hard. It is.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Oh - I wish you lived here now... I just hope that the craziness that seems to be your current life makes the time fly!

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